Don't Call Me Sweetie

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First of all, in case you missed it in the title, this recipe does not call for mayonnaise! Isn’t that fantastic?  I wish I could put in to words how amazing this stuff tastes. It’s easy, it’s versatile, and the bowl gets licked clean every single time I make it. I’m going to give you the recipe for egg salad, but I’ve also used the same recipe (minus the veggies) for deviled eggs and they are unbelievably good. Plus, if you put chopped bacon on top, you can call it green eggs and ham!

Get your ingredients together. You absolutely need hard-boiled eggs, one large avocado, ranch dressing (I use light, but it doesn’t matter), and lime juice. If you are making deviled eggs, that’s all you need, plus or minus a jalapeno if you’re brave. For egg salad, I like a little crunch, so I also have celery, carrots, and bell pepper. Feel free to use whatever veggies you want. I’m saying hard-boiled eggs, because everyone has a different way to hard boil them, so use your own way. If you don’t know how, the best method is to call your mother, she knows how to do it.

Dice your veggies. I usually use 9 eggs, but this recipe is easy to adjust if you want to use more or less. Peel your eggs and separate the whites from the yolks. Dice the egg whites, unless you’re making deviled eggs, then just halve them. If you have one of those fancy egg slicer gadgets, now would just be a super time to use it. If you’re gadget-less like me, then you’re gonna have to suck it up and use a knife. If you’re related to me, then I’d like an egg slicing gadget for Christmas, wink wink. Put the veggies and egg whites into a large bowl and set aside.

I really like to add some jalapeno in, also. It adds great flavor and anything with lime juice tastes great with jalapeno. If you’re going to do this, mix it in with the sauce, not the veggies. I’m a medium wuss, so I take all or most of the seeds out before I use the pepper. If you’re braver than me, then go nuts.

Time to make the creamy avocado lime sauce. I use a ninja because it gets the sauce so creamy, but a food processor or a blender not trained in martial arts should work fine too. If you want to be a hero and mash it by hand, no one is going to stop you. Blend together: the egg yolks, one large avocado, two teaspoons of lime juice, two tablespoons of ranch, one jalapeno, salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste. You’ll need more salt than you think, because you need enough to flavor the eggs and the avocado. Now blend until it’s creamy, green heaven. If your avocado isn’t ripe enough, you might need a little extra ranch to make it creamy. Try to use a very soft avocado, and you won’t have a problem.

If you’re making deviled eggs, pipe your mixture into your eggs. Garnishing with chopped bacon is probably necessary, and definitely delicious. If you’re making egg salad, fold the mixture into your egg whites and veggies until evenly mixed. Then refrigerate until cold throughout. I like to eat this in pita pockets, but it’s great for sandwiches, wraps, on celery, or just eaten by itself. I also recommend adding bacon to your sandwich when eating this. Don’t plan on having leftovers because this stuff is amazing.

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